Ushanka

The Ushanka is a woolen hat that can have its sides pinned up to cover the ears at the top, or left down. ONLY TRUE SLAVS KEEP IT UP!!! In the Cold War, while the Americans were getting frostbite, the kommies were wearing their Ushankas with pride in only their UNDERWEAR. Ushankas are also a sign of socialism and “being for the people”. They originate from the cold land of Russia, where bears are killed with bare hands. Ushankas bring life to the kommie lands and babies are baptised with a golden Ushanka. Over time, more and more bears have been killed, giving the supply for more Ushankas. When Russia played at the Fifa World Cup this year, they celebrated by drinking the blood of the slaughtered bears with the golden Ushankas they were baptised with.