Ole Stalin

"Every star is a red star"

—Ole Stalin

Ole Stalin was the kommie leader during the Cold War, and secretly influenced the way boys play. Stalin was the creator of hit toy brand, Lego, and got the business big with his son. Because Russia only wanted strong men, the toy was targeted towards little boys. The concept of building was to teach the young slavs about building as a people, and working hard. His son, Godfrey, was forced by Ole to work for him otherwise he’d get no dinner. Godfrey was the only witness of his mother’s murder, carried out by his papa. So he was forced to work for his only parent if he wanted to live, and ended up helping the business out in the long run.

69 years later when Ole Stalin died, his company was going broke and Godfrey needed to run away with all the money. While he was on a cruise to America, a guy said,  “Damn, this is great but there’s no system!”. Godfrey was emotional and cut the guy’s neck with a sickle, beat him with his hammer that every Russian kid owns and chucked him overboard. Then he contacted Disney so that they could ruin Lego like they did with Star Wars and they both created Lego Friends, so now the business would be to train girls. After that business went broke because nobody likes Lego Friends, Godfrey went to Australia and invented Godfreys to clean the dusty Lego Friends sets that were never sold.

History
Ole was born at the turn of the century on 7th April 1900. From a young age, it was evident he was very clever. On 30 December 1922 Ole Stalin founded the USSR and became its blessed leader. After ten long years of collecting resources and building up the beginnings of his empire, Ole founded Lego on 10 August 1932.

Ole's Lost Song
As we all know, after Ole’s death, Godfrey took the money and ran. He went to Disney and together they made “Lego” Friends, an effort to make the brand more appealing to little girls. Of course, this weakened the child population of the USSR and no parents bought the sets, letting them sit in warehouses for eternity. When Kjeld gained control of the company, he wiped Gottfried’s and Disney’s terrible contributions to Lego and began to restore its former glory. He reinvented Ole’s designs and messages, using past notes and sketches. Once when he was searching through Ole’s treasurebox, a crate containing all of Ole’s secret things and secrets, he found a picture of the first workshop, and on it an almost finished song called, “Everything Is Awesome”. The song was later released in the Lego Movie, a secret message to Slavs and Westerners alike to work together, a fundamental part of Communism. Communism, and Ole's spirit, was back.